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Have you ever been attracted to an older man?


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Tokyo Olympics: Get the full schedule, events and where to watch. Jason Momoa and wife Lisa Bonet made headlines last week when Momoa recalled how he was a "nervous wreck" when he initially asked Bonet out on a date. Momoa was just 26 years old at the time, and approaching Bonet, who is 12 years his senior, was intimidating.

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I was born in and have two older siblings.

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So far, so normal. Except for the fact that being born in — the same year the Titanic went down — my father was old enough to be my great-grandfather.

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To further compound the issue, my mother was born in — a difference of 33 years between their births. AsI was never overtly aware that other people's parents were of similar ages; my mum and dad were just like anyone else's. The true impact of the age of my father only struck home as a teenager.

My father died from age-related illnesses two years after he retired. He was 79, I was It devastated my family; we had to sell the house we grew up in and completely readjust to new lives.

Men confess: 22 reasons why younger guys fall for older women

My dad was not there to see me graduate from school or university, see me pass my driving test or have a pint with me on my 18th birthday. Twenty-plus years on, my mother has not remarried and I often worry about her being lonely or unfulfilled. But my experience has taught me that a large age difference is of no real concern: both of my parents loved each other and my childhood was idyllic. Fleeting thoughts of selfishness on their part occasionally surface — they both knew how old Dad would be when I would be a teenager — but they gave me the best upbringing I could imagine.

What more could want? After my mother's death, my year-old father married a young girl of They had three boys together. My siblings were uniformly horrified, and some refused to be civil to him up to the time of his death, aged Some common assumptions are that young women marrying a much older man are looking for security.

I believe, from my experience, that it is indeed true — as it probably is for the better half of all women entering into marriage, regardless of age. My father revelled in starting a new family and endlessly doted on his new bride.

From my perspective, she did love him Big lady wants old grandpa cooked incessantly for him, always trying to please him … quite the contrary to my dear departed mother.

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He was in seventh heaven, and quite frankly, I am very thankful she married him. I say to all who seek such unions, more power to you, we need more happiness in this world! I was 19 when I met my husband. He's 28 years my senior. At the time I was hetrong and eager to speed life up. Out of school only one year, I'd started an ancy course.

It's probably no coincidence that I was also hunting for a mortgage at the same time and looking for a husband. I had a doll's Big lady wants old grandpa mindset. The thought of living alone made me nervous, and setting up a home seemed the most practical way of avoiding this. My husband was a successful deer, had worked overseas and was thinking of retirement.

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We got on very well, had similar interests and senses of humour. I became pregnant almost immediately. There were eyes raised at the beginning of our relationship; an expectation from people that I was "chosen" for youth and looks.

But we've been together over 20 years now, and our age difference is now rarely mentioned. There have, however, been pros and cons to our situation. When I was young I tended to hang on his word — he is clever and has had a lot of life experience. But as I matured, tensions sometimes set in.

Large age gaps in a relationship: our readers respond

I developed my own opinions and became less willing to be lectured or talked down to. I also gave up education to parent our children: he was unwilling to see me go back to work and told me so. This is partly to do with insecurity; he has mentioned being worried that I will find a "younger model" to replace him with. One day, I'll have to think about health issues — in fact, I do wonder about how I would perform as his carer — but so far he's had amazing health.

But there are a lot of pros, too.

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There was never any issue about commitment. My husband had already lived a pretty full life — if men have biological clocks, his was definitely ticking.

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He is a very devoted and dependable father; his maturity really came into its own when he became a dad. We've worked very well as parents, planning and agreeing on courses of action, giving the children a strong framework. The fact that he had a steady income and a house relieved much of the pressure young couples must feel when they become parents. Although it may not have been my wisest choice to settle down so young, I feel I've gained in having a partner who carries with him so much life experience and fullness of character.

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I have recently started seeing an older man. I'm 34 and he has just turned 50 — a gaping chasm of 16 years.

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In the past I have generally dated men my age or younger, so this sudden leap into the world of "the older man" was a life change for me, and what a splendid one it has proved to be. Our cultural references may be a bit different, but that's the only thing highlighting our age gap.

We laugh at the same things and have similar hobbies, and yes, I find him very attractive indeed. He might not be able to do the splits as well as he used to allegedly or stay up very late week nights, but who Big lady wants old grandpa a damn? I remember my dear old grandma saying on the morning of her 85th birthday that she still felt 21 inside, and I think this is something people forget when denouncing couples with an age gap.

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We're all youngsters inside. And kids? Yes, that would be lovely thanks. Old d rock. I have one, and he's still able to play "it" with his grandsons at Big lady wants old grandpa age of And win. I am 49, and my partner is We have been together for the last six years and have weathered the twilight years of my fertility together. While childrearing was discussed and rejected, it remains to be seen whether this is something he ultimately decides he cannot live without. I do think there is a big difference in how age-gap relationships are viewed depending on who is older, largely because of reproductive issues: while older men are sometimes derided for "trading in" their aging wives for younger models, they are generally given a pass or even lauded.

If the woman is the older, it is either trivialised as a "cougar" fling, or viewed as a tragedy for the hapless younger man. In our case, we each grappled extensively with the age difference in our own way in the beginning, but realised after a couple of years that what we really wanted was to be together. The key to age gap relationships is not to try to deny the difference, but not to get too hung up about it either.

11 things that attract a younger woman to an older man

We joke about it a lot, give each other space for our own age-cohort-related activities, and generally enjoy and respect each other as peoplewhich is about as much as any of us have a right to ask from a relationship. Your mileage, of course, may vary.

The people's panel Relationships. This article is more than 8 years old. Guardian readers share their views of big age gaps in couples following news George Soros, 82, will marry Tamiko Bolton, Soros and Bolton, who met in springhave formally announced their engagement. Photograph: Reuters. Wed 15 Aug Chuckjaeger : 'A large age difference is of no real concern'.

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