Ajay now spends much of her time getting involved Butch sex stories feminist politics and learning new things — current studies include marine biology, polar exploration and history. She is also experimenting with writing and is looking forward to travelling again to visit friends and family once covid restrictions lift. Our thanks to Ajay for writing this of her story for us and allowing us to publish it.
My name is Ajay, which is not the name I was born with Katrina but a name I devised myself from the name, Amanda-Jane, that my adoptive parents gave me.
Clothes were hood battle ground too, and I have a shameful memory of biting my grandmother hard enough to draw blood when she tried to put me in a dress. I loved my riding outfit and the collar and tie of my school uniform but it was spoiled by the skirt. It was joyful moment when my secondary school at last permitted older students to wear trousers in winter.
I went to an all-female boarding school, both primary and Butch sex stories, and there were no male teachers. At home there was just my mother and grandmother.
A butch of sex, love, and self-loathing
I wanted to be an engineer on an oil rig and my romantic day dreaming was not about boys but the other girls in the school. Puberty brought sexual feelings and intense emotions. I was eventually expelled from school and briefly sent to another one from which I ran away and lived rough for a while in London.
However, I was very aware that I did not like receiving sexual attention or pleasure — only giving it. My female body, and especially by this time my large breasts, continued to feel very wrong.
I still dressed in male clothes whenever I could and, just for the sense of satisfaction and completeness that it gave me would sometimes stuff socks or rolled up sanitary p down the front of my trousers. I also got a thrill from shaving with foam and a razer I still do.
Butch sex stories later job as a computer programmer in the City, was severely marred by the rule then that women had to wear skirts or dresses. Although I have never completely accepted my female body — especially my breasts — it was the many amazing and supportive women in the feminist and lesbian community that I was part of that helped me realise that trying to be a man was not a solution and that I had a chance of a life as a lesbian.
When we met she already had a 4 year old daughter and a baby son from adoomed-to-failure marriage with a gay friend. I always knew I could not give birth to myself.
The thought of being pregnant just seemed ludicrous, it was something that a woman does, not me. But bringing up children as a step-parent has for me been the most rewarding and enriching experience of my life.
Does that mean I was, am, trans? Even now, at 57, I do not feel comfortable with my female body and still from time-to-time consider getting a mastectomy — not because I want to be man — I know that it is not physically possible — but because my breasts are large, inconvenient and uncomfortable and have never felt part of me.
Sometimes she lets me: best butch femme erotica
For some that is enough although I know some believe they can change sex and I respect their beliefs. What upsets and worries me is that I think there are many young lesbians out there, who do not have the benefits of the lesbian community and role models that I did, who see being transgender Butch sex stories a way out of their misery. I ask you to consider my story and ask yourself if you really want to make this irreversible decision now, as a teenager, the most emotionally tumultuous time of your life? It will mean major, irreversible, permanent changes to your body that will probably make you infertile, unable to ever experience the pleasure of orgasm, and a permanent medical patient — and you will still only be a simulacrum of the opposite sex.
I know for some that is enough, but make sure it is for you. My advice? Read everything you can get hold of on both sides of the debate. Read the stories of other lesbians and of de-transitioners. Learn about feminism and patriarchy. Engage in discussion and debate with those who challenge you. Listen to as many different opinions as you can. You owe it to your future self to take a properly informed Butch sex stories considered decision. Thank you!
It is so important that you clearly express the truth — it is Not possible to change ones body completely, it will be in disabled in one or another way and depending on chemistry… The healthy body is — contrary — able to do almost everything, in reality both sexes can do the same, mostly it Butch sex stories social limits. Exactly right. Now the trans movement are trying to make it a physical reality for many girls and women. Thank you so much, Ajay, for telling your story.
Honest testimonies like yours may save lives.
I Butch sex stories following several people on YouTube who are de-transitioning after years of living as the opposite gender, who say that surgeries and hormones did not fix the struggle they had had with their bodies; it only introduced more medical needs and psychological issues they otherwise would not have had. None of these people are judgmental of these procedures, they are simply telling their own stories. The positive that has come from this is awareness of how many people struggle to fit in with what society has told them they must be. These procedures are handled way too matter-of-factly.
As with any medical treatment; medications, hormones and surgeries should only be implemented after an exhaustive search for more moderate solutions. Something about being female makes an adult human female usually, but not always, more reflective, less impulsive, more curious to explore the consequences of her proposed actions.
Thank you, Ajay, for telling us about your discovery of the kind of life and intimacy which you wanted. You were never seriously abused in childhood or adolescence and you developed a normal self-confidence. Butch sex stories am glad that your life worked out so well for you, your family and friends! He suffered repeated childhood sexual abuse which he has never talked about with anyone.
And he is lazy about self-discovery. And he simply does not care about hurting the people who tried to love him before his behaviour became too confused and abusive, like a monster. Obviously I wish that he wanted to understand himself, but he in fact has no curiosity.
He is now a recluse, living alone. I would just like to say that your self-questioning got you to the right place in the end: Thank you! I have too much to lose even if I want it so badly. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time Butch sex stories comment.
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