It is time for Christians to start talking about dating. The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Yes, I am. This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. We have been passive too long. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages.
Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships and ultimately marriages. One of the best ways to save your marriage is through Ranch of Hope. Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. So, this is incredibly important.
After growing up christian, i’m done ‘dating to marry’
We have a responsibility to be pro-active. So, I am starting the conversation.
I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. Here are 10 important principles for Christian dating. The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person.
The golden rule in christian dating
If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back…. That would make God a gambler, and the Bible clearly says gambling is from the devil only joking. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws.
The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. The brokenness in a marriage should point you to the only perfect one, God. If you are a Christian, there is no reason to date without a trajectory towards marriage.
Now, I want to clarify what I mean. Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose.
Biblical dating: how it’s different from modern dating
It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse more on that later. Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are intentional beings. We are deed to know why we do stuff and where we are going.
Dating is no different. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. Disclaimer : A date is not dating. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. Dating is more intimate. Dating involves D. R talks.
It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. He is the pie.
The best christian articles on singleness, dating, and marriage
There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse. This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god more on this later.
Christian articles about dating of these are bad. Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries.
The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. So, date Christians. Marry someone who loves Jesus.
10 principles for christian dating that will transform lives
And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is deed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it.
Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? Yes…this is a primary value.
Christian dating culture: being relationally single and spiritually engaged
If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? No…this is a secondary value. Ever handled a shotgun?
If not, let me fill you in. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target. I am going to ask 20 people on a date. Five of those should be keepers.
Love in his image: 7 rules for christian dating
Hopefully one will end up as my spouse. Not a good idea. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce. Let me explain.
Get to know yourself. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. Date with a trajectory towards marriage.
Date intentionally. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order. People are created to be in community. And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. I am fearful the Christian community has irresponsibly Christian articles about dating men and women into marriage through cultural pressure.
Can you imagine how constantly hearing this question from friends, family, and unsuspecting old ladies makes some singles believe they have a problem? See it as an opportunity to serve God. When you date, allow the community of people around to speak into your relationship.