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Do you have a jealous dating partner? Jealousy is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a dating relationship. A jealous dater can think and do some wacky things he or she would not normally think of doing.

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Dating jealousy and insecurity

You may feel jealousy when you experience the heightened threat from a rival. Most of us become jealous when we see our spouse having a great time with a person of the opposite sex — especially if that person seems a little too friendly. Jealousy can be either healthy or unhealthy.

Healthy jealousy is a means to guard your territory and comes from a sincere care and commitment to a relationship. On the other hand, unhealthy jealousy manifests itself through lies, threats, self-pity, and feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and insecurity.

If your spouse is a secure person and desires to protect your marriage against cracks, you need Christian dating jealousy listen.

Dating: good jealousy and bad

Confront the issue head-on by finding the reason for the jealousy, then making changes to keep you both out of danger. He knows how men think, what they want and how they pursue it. So, it would be foolish of you not to heed his warning. If she suggests that another woman is behaving inappropriately, your wife is Christian dating jealousy right. Most women have radar, an innate alertness to nonverbal communication and an ability to translate body language and tone into emotional facts.

Unhealthy jealousy is altogether different.

Do you struggle with jealousy?

It stems from comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate, unimportant, inferior and pitiful. Some spouses have experienced a lot of loss in life — whether divorce, death or abandonment in childhood — and they may bring unresolved issues into the relationship in the form of jealousy.

Yet when a person carries this jealousy to pathological extremes, it will dominate a relationship.

When the other partner resists, the jealous person reacts by becoming even more controlling. Then the other partner resists further by confiding in a friend or seeking relief outside the marriage.

Sometimes this can become a downward spiral. When jealousy becomes unhealthy it is destructive and frustrating to contend with. Love is not jealous and possessive.

Understanding healthy and unhealthy jealousy

True love enables you to aim for what is best for the other person — not what is best for you. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So how do you deal with unhealthy jealousy in your marriage? Here are some tips for both spouses — whether you have or are a jealous spouse. Gary and Barbara Rosberg. All rights reserved.

Published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. To order this resource or to find out more about the Rosbergs, visit Drgaryandbarb. Married for over 30 years, the parents of two adult daughters and five grandchildren, Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg have a unique blend of insight and wisdom that touches people of all ages.

Together with Gary's 25, hours of counselling experience and Barbara's gift of encouragement and Biblical teaching, they are equipping thousands of families through their interactive daily radio program, conferences and marriage and family resources. If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources below.

Free advice on marriage, parenting and Christian living delivered straight to your inbox. Get Involved Pray for us Share your story Make a donation. Support Focus Help us reach families across Christian dating jealousy Reasons to give.

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We recommend. More from Focus. Understanding healthy and unhealthy jealousy Written by Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg. Themes covered Marriage Conflict Gratitude Jealousy. Two types of jealousy Jealousy can be either healthy or unhealthy.

The bad Unhealthy jealousy is altogether different. You feel worthless and unimportant. You become frustrated and overwhelmed. You have a desire to control. You have less sexual intimacy with your spouse. If you have a jealous spouse: Assess whether you are doing something that is provoking the jealousy. Be demonstrative in love toward your spouse.

Talk openly with your spouse about the problem. Get his or her take on it the feelings may be legitimateand work together to find a solution. If you are the jealous spouse: Listen to a few trusted friends.

Be honest with yourself. Ask what is causing the feelings. Are you trying to manipulate? Spend time with God. Think about your spouse more positively.

Overcoming jealousy: jealous dating

Jealous people use their anxious thoughts and suspicions as cues to misread anything that their spouses do. Instead, take a deep breath and pray — for yourself and for your spouse.

Express your feelings to your spouse. Own up to your jealousy. Be honest without being blaming or manipulative. Continue reading. We're here to help All services Our impact.