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Few things make us more miserable than being in an unhealthy romantic relationship.


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Being with someone who isn't on the same maturity level as you can be annoying and frustrating, and it can be hard to figure out what to do about it. If you are in a relationship with a person who is not mature emotionally, this article will help you address this very common issue. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. Before dealing with a man or woman who is emotionally not mature, it's important to understand why they are that way to begin with.

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If your partner argues over little things, gets defensive, or refuses to compromise — among other traits that leave you feeling frustrated and confused — it very well may mean they are emotionally immature.

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It may also be difficult to have a calm, effective communication when talking about anything of substance. Since everyone matures at their own pace, you may choose to be understanding and attempt to help your partner see how their actions impact not only themselves, but you and your relationship.

Here are 17 s of emotional immaturity to look out for in a partner. You don't need to start planning your wedding on the first date, but if your partner is seemingly unable to commit to even the smallest plans with you like agreeing to dinner next Saturdayconsider it a red flag.

It can take time to really open up to someone and connect on a deeper levelbut if you've been together for a long time and still feel like your partner is holding back, that might mean they're unwilling or unable to move past a surface-level relationship.

If your partner is unable to participate in emotional intimacy — by having meaningful conversations and going beyond the aforementioned surface-level interactions — Burns says it can leave you feeling disconnected and lonely. The whole point of a relationship is to feel loved, supported, and respected, which is why feeling alone, even with a partner by your side, is a huge red flag.

Have you noticed that your partner is simply unable to meet you in the middle or budge in any way, shape, or form? If so, emotional immaturity may be to blame.

Being able to communicate your needs and find a middle-ground when an issue arises is crucial for a relationship's success. If your partner would rather throw a tantrum or sulk than have a conversation about compromisethat's a big problem.

In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to bring up potential problems and work on them together without one person feeling as if they have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting the other. Being thoughtful and doing nice things for a partner is definitely a good thing.

5 tips for happier, healthier relationships

But if you find yourself constantly picking up your partner's slack, that could mean you're in an immature relationship where everything is one-sided and your own needs aren't being met. Another important part of being a mature partner is freely acknowledging when you mess up, followed by sincerely apologize in order to make amends. Someone who's emotionally immature likely won't want to admit when they've screwed up and may even attempt to place the blames on others.

There's a huge difference between having a partner who knows their self-worth and recognizes when to establish a few boundaries, and having a partner who is totally selfish and only takes their needs into .

1. they’re all talk and no action

So keep an eye out for s of selfishness, like the fact they only help out when the situation also benefits them, Rappaport says. It's OK to admit that something in the past is bothering you, but the healthy, mature way to deal with that is to communicate how you feel and work together with your partner to move on. So take it as a if your partner is in the habit of silently stewing without even telling you why.

Or worse, if they bring up old issues that happened years ago during an argument. Since this type of immaturity can result in nastiness and resentment, it will take a negative toll on your relationship.

You should both be involved in decision-making. While some emotionally immature folks will make decisions all on their own, others will need their partner to decide everything for them. There are lots of reasons why someone might struggle with organization, but according to Jen Browning LCPC, NCCa d clinical professional counselor, being emotionally immature is definitely one of them.

They struggle to talk about their feelings

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tari Mackemotional immaturity often reveals itself in outbursts of anger. The same is true for name-calling.

If your partner gets so mad that they start calling you names or attacking your character, they have a lot of work to do when as far as properly handling conflict. But remember that your well-being is important, too, as they work to figure it out. Samantha Burnscouples counselor and dating coach. April Davismatchmaker and relationship expert. Davida Rappaportspeaker and spiritual counselor.

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Tari Mackclinical psychologist. By Laken Howard and Carolyn Steber. Updated: June 2, Originally Published: May 31,