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Relationships come with their fair share of ups and downs, and it doesn't get any different when you're dating a man who's been recently divorced. Dating newly divorced guy our lives are getting busier by the day, our relationships, too, are coming with an expiration date, if the rising of divorces are anything to go by. Whether a relationship lasts forever, or fizzles out in a jiffy, we can never really stop looking for love and companionship. Having gone through an unsuccessful relationship, a recently divorced man is no different. Being human, he is bound to reach out for company, and you may possibly figure on his radar. Is the woman risking a potential heartbreak?
Dating after divorce, much like divorce itselfis a different journey for everyone. That sounds like some psuedo Dr. Getting back out there after the end of a marriage is tricky and everyone has their own timeline. For others, dating is put on the back burner after a divorce, and they take time to focus on themselves and their families.
Finding true happiness…
The rule many experts like to quote is that it takes one year to get over five-to-seven years of marriage. But what is it like to get back to dating after divorce?
We asked a dozen men about their experiences. Issues of anxiety or trust were mentioned.
When you date the newly divorced guy
A few men viewed dating after divorce as an exciting adventure into uncharted territory, while others viewed it as be a comedy of errors that ultimately resulted in love. Or at least a good story. All learned a lot about themselves. I was just anti-dating, anti-relationship. My best friend and I were talking about it, and he convinced me to go out with him and a bunch of our other friends. Pretty harmless. We met some people, talked to some people.
It was fun. Then we went out again, but it was just me and him.
We struck up conversations with some women here and there and, again, it was fun. That kept going on until I realized he was basically acting as my training wheels — helping me get back some confidence and showing me that making new connections can be a good thing. It took a while, which also made me appreciate his patience and friendship in the process. I just sort of existed and lived my life. And it worked.
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I remarried about four years after I got divorced. My now-wife and I dated for a long time, took it slow, and completely ignored the pressure to get married. When it felt like the right time, we did. My divorce was hard. My wife cheated on me, and basically left me for another guy.
And once it was all said and done, I just had to keep moving, ya know? I downloaded all the apps, got on all the sites, and just tried to meet people so that I could focus on moving ahead instead of looking back. Then she became my ex wife.
My ex was athletic, blonde, bubbly, which was what I thought I wanted in a relationship. But the women I dated after the divorce showed me how young, stupid and superficial I was. Even though it was hard and painful, I learned a great lesson.
I have two girls, who are my world and my priority. I think I psyched myself out on a lot of dates because of that train of thought. My current girlfriend has a son, though. When we met, our kids were all we talked about. I figure that was a good. I was in love with my ex-wife for a long time after we split. It was really rough at first. I felt terrible.
So I stopped dating.
Or, at least not over the divorce. I went on a few dates that fizzled out, and then went out with one woman who saw right through me. It was just a mess from the start. I ended up gaining weight. My blood pressure spiked. I was diagnosed with anxiety. It was just an unfortunate situation. So, the first thing I did when we divorced was get healthy. First I started yoga.
Then I hiked a lot. I began to see a therapist. And when I felt like I was in a healthier place, I got on Match. So, I was like a newborn foal taking its first steps the first time I went on a post-divorce date. Just awkward and stumbling. It was bad. Looking back, I can laugh at it. But, she gave me a chance, and then another one, and another one.
She said my awkwardness was endearing. Long-story-short, I unwittingly suggested meeting them both at the same place, at the same time. I wish I could say there was a fight, or a threesome or something exciting, but they just both realized they were wasting their time and left. I think even the bartender was shaking her head at my stupidity, which is fair.
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