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I am picking femme who wants Dating with no cell phone

You see two people out to dinner or maybe sharing a cup of coffee in a neighborhood cafe.


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By Dustin Communication. Cell phones have changed the way we communicate with our friends and family. While this technology can help us stay connected more than ever, it can also hurt our relationships if we spend too much time looking at a screen instead of our partner. Not just sitting off to the side of the table, but completely away in your purse or pocket. A study completed by psychologists at the University of Essex showed that even having a cell phone in view but not in use disrupts important conversations and lowers relationship quality.

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I'm glued to my cellphone; my boyfriend doesn't even have a computer. Can we survive the technology gap? Sarah Treleaven Updated September 19, He was cute, with a messy mop of wavy brown hair, and I was newly single.

Actually, to be completely honest, he was in his early 20s, about 10 years my junior, and I was trying very hard to keep my hands to myself. But his nice-guy charm — he stayed behind to help clean up the half-full beer bottles and burger-stained paper plates — was winning.

I smiled when a message from him popped up the next day on Facebook, requesting a private badminton audience. Given the age difference, my new prospect resulted in immediate hassling by friends and family.

What is phubbing?

But it turns out that age was the least of our differences. When we met up for a drink, in a booth at the back corner of my favourite bar, he revealed his real secret.

I looked up from my vodka soda, wide-eyed and disbelieving. Or a computer.

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He worked with his hands, packing and lifting in a warehouse, and he only checked his every few days, at the library. When he wanted to listen to music, he would close his bedroom door, curl up on his bed and listen to a Discman with oversized headphones.

I pictured a prison cell, cut off from modern technology, Dating with no cell phone he seemed so positively upbeat about it. But later that night, after I wrestled my common sense to the ground and allowed him to walk me home, I found out that he had something to offer that was better than a cellphone.

While he may have lacked modern technology, he more than made up for it in make-out technique. We started to sort of see each other, every now and then, and it was different. I would scan my phone while at dinner with family or having drinks with friends; I would break from work every five minutes to check mydesperate for him to volley back and let me know I was on his mind. And so I relaxed.

What phubbing does to us

I went to movies and my phone stayed silent in my purse instead of on vibrate in my pocket. I felt smugly liberated from my habit of all-consuming dating. Instead of hanging off and analyzing the minutiae of our every exchange, I simply carried on.

Text messages have been produced and s have been printed and presented for group analysis. A man she had been seeing, who lives in Vietnam, had recently returned home from a lengthy mountaineering trip in Nepal. She was not upset when he was in Nepal and, due to the circumstances of poor infrastructure, unable to contact her.

For a month, she seemed almost Zen, recalling their wonderful time together and relatively liberated from worry about the relationship.

In the meantime, my pseudo-boyfriend got a cellphone. He had moved into a new apartment, with a bunch of strangers, and could no longer depend on the kindness of his former roommates and their land line.

He was less than thrilled with his concession to the 21st century, but I was elated. I assumed that I would hear from him more, that the reason our relationship had failed to progress in the several months I had known him was his less-than-modern personal infrastructure. But then I still rarely heard from him.

What is your phone doing to your relationships?

I stared at my cellphone, calling it occasionally from my land line to ensure that it was still working. Instead of being liberated from patterns past, I was still waiting. When a friend asks, I like to pretend that his age put the kibosh on things. Getty Images. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes.

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