While the reasons we fall in love are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has Describe your perfect match examples themselves in certain ways that go beyond looks, charms and success.
Although we each seek out a specific set of qualities that is uniquely meaningful to us alone, there are certain psychological characteristics both you and your partner can strive for that make the relationship much more likely for lasting success. To truly grow up means recognizing and resolving early childhood traumas or losses, and then understanding how these events influence our current behaviors. Therefore the ideal partner is willing to reflect on their past. They possess a maturity that comes from being emotionally emancipated from their family of origin.
They have developed a strong sense of independence and autonomy, having made the psychological shift from boy to man or girl to woman. Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is more available to their partner and the new family they have created, as oppose to the one in which they were born. Because this partner has grown up, they are less likely to re-enact childhood experiences in an intimate relationship.
Rather this person is looking for someone like themselves.
Describe your ideal future partner (features & appearance)
They are looking for another adult with qualities similar to theirs, with whom they can share life in a compatible fashion. The ideal partner is open and undefended, and is willing to be vulnerable. As a result, they are approachable and receptive to feedback without being overly sensitive about any topic. Their openness also enables them to be forthright in expressing feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires.
It includes an interest in personal and sexual development. The ideal partner realizes the importance of honesty in a close relationship.
Describe your perfect match
Honesty builds trust between people. Dishonesty confuses the other person, destroying their trust along with their sense of reality. Nothing has a more destructive impact on a close relationship between two people than dishonesty and deception. Even in such painful situations as infidelity, the blatant deception involved is often more hurtful than the unfaithful act itself. This goes for all levels of communication, both verbal and non-verbal.
Ideal partners treat each other with respect and sensitivity. They do not try to control each other with threatening or manipulative behavior. The ideal partner perceives their mate on both an intellectual, observational level and an emotional, intuitive level. This partner is able to both understand and empathize with their mate.
When a couple understands each other, they become aware of the commonalities that exist between them and also recognize and appreciate the differences. The ideal partner is easily affectionate and responsive on many levels: physically, emotionally and verbally. They are personal, acknowledging and outwardly demonstrative of feelings of warmth and tenderness. They enjoy closeness in being sexual and are uninhibited in freely giving and accepting affection and pleasure during lovemaking. The ideal partner has a sense of humor.
How would you describe your ideal match?
A sense of humor can be a lifesaver in a relationship. Couples who are playful and teasing often defuse potentially volatile situations with their humor. A good sense of humor definitely eases the tense moments in a relationship. Dan Siegel and Lisa Firestone on the essential…. It grieves me to realize my marriage of eighteen years only has two 1 and 3 of these seven qualities in my marriage.
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Not experiencing 5, 6, or 7 is the hardest. Been to counseling off and on for years and not much changes. But we are both Christians, so since there has been no infidelity or abuse, we are just told to suck it up and go on, for the sake of the kids and the commitment. Christians do divorce. Makes no sense. Try to be empathetic toward yourself and your spouse. The childhood issues are important.
Many of us marry early in life when the childhood issues gave not been realized, faced and transitioned from. I had hood without the love needs to be healthy. I am 68 years old, have dated starting a year after my divorce. This is the 5th woman I have dated. I have been floored. I feel God sent me a lifeline. The rest is up to me. It has taken me a lifetime to be ready for this moment. Religion often asks for commitment because it was a social requirement a Describe your perfect match examples time ago for raising children. But it is backwards. Commitment requires a partner whom you can share intimatacy with, mind, soul, heart and body.
Then the commitment becomes the promise to protect that gift.
For it will surely die without knowing that all you learn to share from your deepest places is not safe. God can make Describe your perfect match examples dead marriage comes back to life. Think of when you guy met how you are in love with each other.
With God all things are possible. Love is living imperfect perfectly. An ideal partner do follow the rules of the word JOY. God bless u. I like this article as it makes me reflect on my relationship with my partner. It also make me reflect on myself. In my marriage only items 6 and 7 still exist and 5 is iffy. In my relationship with my girlfriend, all items are strong except for some aspects of 6 due to a past trauma in her life; we are patiently working through that challenge.
The points made in this articles were very good by the grace of God l have been practicing all these seven points in my 30years of marriage and l have been enjoying my partner all this days and we have not one day regret of marrying each other. I am positive my so called partner is a narcissist or even a psychopath.
I am a man and she is a woman. She thinks she is perfect and never does any wrong. Its allbabout what she needs without a thought of anyone else. She starts horrible fights over nothing so I will leave.
She tells me about all the negative things i do i dont actually do them while its exactly her thats spoutinng all the negativity with out me even talking. She wants me to wait on her …. As someone who is just finding her way into her life.
Very well put together! Seven Qualities of an Ideal Partner.
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Daniel Siegel and Lisa Firestone. Learn More. About the Author. Tamsen Firestone. Related Articles. Very well written.
Everything in this article was on-point. Thank you. Nice Reply. An ideal partner is optimistic believing in you and regularly showing support. This is a good reflection for struggling individual to the relationship they had. Reply Christians do divorce. Reply Try to be empathetic toward yourself and your spouse. With God all things are possible Reply. God bless u Reply i agree with that on some things.
Reply did you make your decision yet? Hy iloveu for every Reply.
Sounds like joe Reply. Sexual trauma, abuse and violence impact a surprisingly large of people — maybe even you or someone you know.