If you've ever watched an episode of Catfishyou know how treacherous the texting waters can be. When it comes to texting before a first datemy tactic was always to move slowly and really get to know the person before moving on to setting up an actual date.
Our 10 safety tips for online dating
Oftentimes, either the conversation would go stale or — when we did finally meet up in person — there was an inevitable letdown. I figured that was just how online dating went.
Turns out, I was just doing it all wrong. I reached out to online dating experts to get the scoop on meeting someone for the first time after textingand the timeline between digital and real-life contact is probably shorter than you think. Online dating coach and relationship expert Damona Hoffman agrees.
When it comes to moving from texting to the first date, the sooner the better. If the timeline for texting is a week or less, how much should you actually try to learn about that person before the date? Online dating expert Julie Spira says to keep it light in the pre-date text conversations and suggests limiting it to shared interests and passions.
Talk beforehand about your boundaries
Spira warns things should get too intimate via text before that first IRL meet-up. Her advice is to save the major filtering and getting to know each other for the first date.
She adds that no matter how much you get to know that person over text, "you cannot know if you have a true connection or not until you meet. Ultimately, the most important factor in deciding when to move from texting to meeting in real life is feeling comfortable.
However, if you're just worried you're rushing things, the experts say not to worry about that — the sooner the better. Since texting is a limited tool to get to know someone before meeting, should you consider other forms of conversation prior to the date?
The experts are split on this. Chlipala says no — head straight into meeting in person, safely.
Hoffman, on the other hand, does encourage reaching out by phone prior to meeting. Also, once you have spoken to one another, you become more real than just a face on an app or a name on a phone, and you are less likely to be stood up on the first date or ghosted early on.
Schedule the date to see how you feel when you meet. If you don't, maybe someone else will, and life is too short to be filled with regrets. Anita Chlipaladating expert and d marriage and family therapist.
Julie Spiraonline dating expert. Damona Hoffmanonline dating coach and relationship expert. Single Life.
By Rachel Shatto and Corinne Sullivan. Updated: May 21, Originally Published: May 10, Search Close.