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Studies show that loneliness can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. Job and life advice for young professionals.


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Being single and lonely don't have to go hand-in-hand, but if you are experiencing the blues due to the fact that you're not in a romantic relationship, that's totally understandable. Whether most of your friends are coupled up and it feels like you've been on your own for a while now, or you've gotten used to always being in a long-term relationship and are recently single, it can sometimes be difficult to deal.

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A first key step to combat feeling lonely is to first take a few deep, slow breaths, resist any urge to panicso you can turn on your thinking brain. Your anxiety is only doing its job, to get your attention.

Single and lonely

Your worries about your future are important, very real to you, and likely do not al a larger anxiety problem. Here are 8 empowering thoughts when being single feels lonely that can help turn your mindset around. A positive mindset can help stave off some of the most common cognitive pitfalls of loneliness. As you grow out of the lockstep milestones of school and into the diverse landscape of adulthood, differences between you and your friends will become more pronounced.

Expectations broaden, values become more important, and life gets complicated. No longer are you and your friends doing everything together — far from it, you are keenly aware of being on your own. And this can be nerve wracking. It means you are normal. Yes, normal. The best cure for loneliness is to foster and cultivate more relationships. Remember, relationships do not have to be romantic to be deeply satisfying, and friendships can be good practice for romantic relationships.

Attractiveness has more do with self care than with innate physical beauty.

Studies show that people are more attracted to happiness and confidence than they are to looks alone. Sure, your looks matter, but what you do with them is infinitely more predictive of relationship success. Noted shame expert and swimmer, Brene Brown, highlights the toxicity of social comparison through this common swimming strategy — to stay focused on your race, rather than the people around you. It also can be particularly important to remember that life is not a race at all, and there is no master time-keeper.

Yes, life is finite, as are many outcomes of our choices, but life is also unpredictable, and precious.

What is loneliness?

What matters most to living a satisfying life is finding happiness in the journey, rather than the destination, which le us to positive thought 6. Not sure what happiness booster makes the most sense for you? No one describes the research behind happiness improvement strategies better than Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of the How of Happiness.

There is no shame in being alone unless you buy into the myth that there is. People judge you for what you do, and how you behave, not for whether you are alone or accompanied. Instead of focusing on your attachment status, why not focus on your behavior something you can readily do something about.

Ten ways to overcome loneliness while being single

Are you friendly? Do you engage with people around you, or are you aloof, reserved, or always on your phone? If you want connection, focus on connecting with people. In fact, we seldom want to do what we need to do, and this in itself can drive up anxiety, making it even harder to get traction.

So if taking action scares you, notice this, and adjust your approach. Rather than shoving yourself into new behavior, or backing off completely, try instead to be gentle with yourself without letting yourself off the hook. If the best outlet for your anxiety is taking smart action towards your goals, sometimes the work is in figuring out how to get yourself to a place where you are willing to start.

Anxiety is only the messenger.

What you do with anxiety is the real question at hand. When it comes to feeling lonely, and worrying about where we are in life, where we are going, and if we are on track, nothing is more important to pay attention to. Only you can hear and use your anxiety about feeling lonely for its ultimate purpose: driving you towards success in the things you care about most.

Looking for more help managing anxiety? Using exercises and simple explanations, this 6 module course will furnish you with the tools you need to fast-track taking control of anxiety right now. Offered at a huge discount for a limited time, claim your spot here.

Photo credit: weheartit. Alicia H. Clark, PsyD. Remember, relationships do not have to be romantic to be deeply satisfying, and friendships can be good practice for romantic relationships Beauty is as beauty does Attractiveness has more do with self care than with innate physical beauty.

5 practical steps you can take to fight off loneliness when you're single

Life is not a race It also can be particularly important to remember that life is not a race at all, and there is no master time-keeper. I can be satisfied with being alone There is no shame in being alone unless you buy into the myth that there is.

Being single and alone all the time really sucks. Myreen Tross on November 28, at pm. Thank you Much for helping People all over the World. Guest on January 11, at am. Leave this field empty.