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A sad, universal truth: Every relationship will hit a point when the fiery excitement of "the beginning" fades and things feel a little Your brain and body simply can't sustain the adrenaline-fueled butterfly feeling for years and years and it's a lot less sad when you accept that.


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November 22, Of course you love each other — no doubt about that — but somehow your relationship feels a bit flat now. Perhaps "predictable" would be the word to describe it.

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Are you surprised to be looking for ways to fall back in love with your spouse and wondering how you got here? Following the wedding celebration was a glorious trip together.

There, we tried on our new titles of husband or wife for size. But real life as a married couple began when we returned home.

And so did the challenges of balancing a life together against the external forces that threaten that bond. As they say, life got in the way. How many times do you have to ask your spouse to pick up their dirty clothes and put the toilet seat down? How selfish and thoughtless, right?

Or could your spouse be working so hard under the horrible boss that they have nothing left to give? And that leaves more room for love to grow. Humor is effective to reduce tension and avoid long-term resentment stemming from marital conflict. John Gottman, P. What does this look like in real life? When couples can laugh at themselves and at each other, they strengthen their friendship which also fortifies their love. When life swirls around us and our spouse is annoying, it can be hard to remember why we fell in love.

So we need to make a conscious effort to refresh our memories and prevent a negative thought spiral that erodes our love for our spouse. Gottman suggests sticking to this daily schedule from Monday through Friday, no matter how you feel about your spouse on any given day. Can absence make the heart grow fonder?

1. practice empathy

If you think you can stop at spending time apart, think again. Equally important is the need to ensure you have quality time together regularly. Everyone accepts the seemingly universal premise that date night nourishes your relationship.

But for many couples, even finding an hour to spend alone together each week can be challenging. No matter how challenging it may be, this time alone is an essential way to fall back in love with your spouse. If the status of your relationship has you feeling less enthusiastic about a boudoir rendezvous with your spouse, you might consider regular intimate kisses to light your fire again.

It also lowers your cortisol stress hormone levels. Schedule time each day to talk with your spouse. What went well? What are they concerned about? It also allows your spouse to provide you with needed support. Done regularly, this intimate download can help you build trust and friendship, which can carry you through when your relationship is challenged.

While rituals are important, it is also important to try new things as a couple. The American Psychological Association recommends couples try new things to keep their relationship healthy. Doing something new together helps you bond over the shared experience and prevents boredom from settling in. It can be a new restaurant, a new hobby, or an adventurous activity like hiking or skydiving.

Simply trying new things together is another way to fall in love again with your spouse.

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Boredom can be the death of a relationship, or at least send it into a long-term coma. Surprising your spouse is another way to keep things interesting. Simply sticking a sweet note in their pocket for them to find unexpectedly, making their favorite meal, or giving them a massage after a long day can do the trick. These things let your spouse know that you care for them.

And they may return the favor in a way that solidifies your mutual bond. You need to retain your sense of self to preserve your relationship. David Schnarch, Ph. You need to feel empowered to agree without losing yourself and to disagree without feeling resentful. So often in long-term marriages, we give up our sense of self and lose who we are to the marriage. During quarantine, many of us work, live, play, and eat right next to our spouses. It can be challenging even for the happiest couples to maintain a healthy relationship under these conditions.

These 10 ways to fall in love again with your spouse may help reinvigorate your marriage so that you can enjoy each other for years to come. Ask These Six Questions.

2. learn to laugh

Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotlinewhich is free 24 hours per day and seven days per week, to get the help that you need. October 12, October 11, Michele Linton. Follow my blog with Bloglovin copyright by Michele Linton for the Influencers of Midlife Are you surprised to be looking for ways to fall back in love with your spouse and wondering how you got here?

Here are 10 ways to fall back in love with your spouse that just might do the trick! You can choose to be angry and critical or you can approach them with compassion and empathy. Empathy and compassion take so much less energy and engender a lot more goodwill.

Learn to Laugh Humor is effective to reduce tension and avoid long-term resentment stemming from marital conflict. Couples who are good friends are most likely to engage in successful repair attempts that de-escalate negativity and allow them to move beyond disagreements, says Gottman. Just as you might start the day with a positive affirmation to feel motivated and happy, write down one positive thought or attribute of your spouse or your relationship every day. Spend Time Apart Can absence make the heart grow fonder?

Plan Special Time Together If you think you can stop at spending time apart, think again. Kiss Like You Mean It If the How to find love again in marriage of your relationship has you feeling less enthusiastic about a boudoir rendezvous with your spouse, you might consider regular intimate kisses to light your fire again. Take the opportunity to really listen to your spouse and ask probing questions.

Try New Things Together While rituals are important, it is also important to try new things as a couple. Be Unpredictable in a Good Way Boredom can be the death of a relationship, or at least send it into a long-term coma.

Hold on to Yourself You need to retain your sense of self to preserve your relationship. What does this mean? If you are uncertain how to regain your sense of self in your marriage, you might consider talking to a d marriage and family therapist. Like this: Like Loading You May Also Like.