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How to finger clit hunting for chica that wants simulators

After all, getting busy with your own bod can help you chuck unwanted inhibitions. Throw out any taboos or guilt surrounding masturbation right now. Pleasuring yourself has health benefits that go beyond the body — it can help untangle shame that affects confidence with yourself, partnered sex, or in a relationship.


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Some clitoral stimulation for the lady!

But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details.

Q: I just started dating women, and I'm not super experienced with it. Do you have a general primer on how to give a hand job to a woman? A: Thanks for your question!

I think a lot of people underestimate how pleasurable hand jobs can bewhich is a real shame. Before we get into technique, I want to encourage you to do some exploration on your own first.

1. prepare your tools for the job

You have a whole world of exploration at your finger tips! Take the time to get to know your body and what it likes. Not sure how? Check out our handy guide to female masturbation.

Also, despite what the headline says, it is important to note that just because someone identifies as a girl or woman does not mean they have a vulva, and not all people with vulvas consider themselves women. For the purposes of this article, we will be using the term "people with vulvas.

Keep your fingernails trimmed and filed, to avoid scratching their sensitive skin. You also want to make sure to wash your hands right before getting down to business, to protect your partner from getting an infection in this area. Spend plenty of time warming up before you move between your partner's legs with their permission, of course.

Make out with your partner, kiss their neck, and nibble on their ears. Caress your partner's butt, hips, and thighs.

When you start to work your way downrub your partner's crotch through their pants using your palm, or grind against your partner with your thigh or pelvis. Even after their pants are off, keep teasing your partner. Leave your partner's underwear on and trace a fingertip up and down their labia. You want your partner to be aching for skin-to-skin contact by the time you finally let them have it.

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Just check in with your partner first and make sure teasing is something they'll enjoy. According Sarah Watsond professional counselor and sex therapist, if you're new to touching someone's vulva, it's important to communicate and ask for feedback. This can be verbal, or non-verbal.

Communication is key here. Some options would be verbal responses, response through touch or movement.

But all must be agreed upon first. Also discussing that what might have felt good before might not feel good today, and that is not a personal attack or critique it's just how most with vulvas can respond. Then talk about it after, what went well, what felt good, what could change? Artificial lube will not only decrease your partner's discomfort and any potential painbut it will also increase their sensitivity and help your fingers move more deftly.

Here's how to get way better at fingering, according to women

I think silicone lubricant lasts longest and feels best against the skin. In general, people with vulvas like one of three different approaches: clitoral stroking, penetration with your fingers, or both at the same time. Try a couple clitoral strokeslike circling around their clitoris with one finger, gliding diagonally across the surface, rubbing up and down, or going side to side. Next, try using your fingers inside of them, starting with one, then moving up to two and three.

Then try using one hand inside of your partner and the other on their clitoris. Most people with vulvas need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. You can also ask them what their typical technique is when they masturbate to help figure out what feels best for them here.

Focus instead on making your partner feel good. Similarly, Watson says a candid discussion about what your partner enjoys is a good thing to have before and during. Then explore with types of pressure, you can use different textures, temperatures Get creative. Bringing another person an immense amount of pleasure with just your hands can be an incredibly fun and empowering experience.

Enjoy the ride! Plus, the more fun you have, the more relaxed your partner is going to feel, and the more pleasure they'll allow themselves to take in. Sarah Watsond professional counselor and sex therapist.

Rowland, D. The Journal of Sexual Medicine15 10— This article was originally published on Aug. By Vanessa Marin. Updated: Oct. Originally Published: Aug.