And then his interest wanes and he starts treating her like an option instead of a priority?
When can you let a guy know you are interested! At what stage? Is dating just one big game?
How do you get a guy to treat you like priority instead of an option? Well well. An excellent question that has been posed by women since time immemorial. There he was, totally interested, looking dapper in his buffalo skin while nonchalantly swinging his club at the cave entrance, offering you some freshly killed mastodon meat. There he was, showing up outside your castle window every day in his mostly shiny but frankly also a little rusty armor, strumming his lute and warbling his troubadour songs. What is up with that?!
Warning s he's losing interest in you (and what to do about it)
Why do men lose interest? What, if anything, could you have done differently? However, I do know that I have been that man many, many times. In the meantime, it still sucks to be on the receiving end. There are forces that strengthen the bond between two people, and forces that weaken it.
For example, seeing a lot of each other generally strengthens the bond.
Living far apart weakens the bond. Shared values bond; their violation separates. If the net forces bonding a couple are greater than those separating them, they tend to stay together.
2. he is not trying to be romantic.
Otherwise, they come apart. So far, so obvious. Two strangers are gambling on each other, hoping something may come of it. In the meantime, an endless panoply of potentially better choices are just a swipe, click, or happy hour mixer away. Why waste time when a potentially better match is around the corner?
9 reasons why men lose interest — and what you can do about it
Therefore, in the early stages of courtship, people in this age of electronic dating are in Merciless Elimination Mode. You support the wrong candidate? Forget about it. You own a yappy purse dog? Or a cat that sheds?
Eww yuck blech. And with the length of courtship going from months see: Emma by Jane Austento days see: 20 th century telephone erato minutes for reading an online profile, and 0. If you think this is lame and stupid, I wholeheartedly agree. Relatives and pets die. People get fired. Tax season hits.
Oh no, final exams! People get sued, sick, or sick of getting sued. Here, let me share a story with you: some time ago, over the course of one week I had two first dates that I thought went reasonably well, concluding in semi-torrid makeout sessions. I am not making this shit up. Never saw either of them again. But in the early phases of courtship e. Usually permanently.
Time to move on.
Shit happens. The key take-away from this is that you should not take such vanishings personally. Men will go out with you for all kinds of reasons.
He actually likes you, but he finds your earnest Christian tendencies dampening his enthusiasm. He senses that your enthusiasm for sex is far greater than his. Do men really have all these thoughts? Well, this man has.
And I bet many other men have, too. If you want steady boyfriend leading to marriage and 2. And if his interest in you is limited from the start, then things can only go so far.
This is going to be tasty. Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. And it kinda does have pointy long horns… Ahh, do I really want to do this? Now he has to rethink the whole situation, perhaps totally losing interest in this particular gazelle.
1. you're not spending nearly as much time together as you used to.
Gazelle run. There was the girl who invited me to her senior year final dance in college who was all over me much more than I was all over her. There was the super sweet, cute Midwestern girl in med school whom I tried so hard to charm. There has to be a catch.
Much safer to bail than to deal. And at a very primitive level, remember that men enjoy the chase. Why should he be thrilled about your taking away his thrill? Best not to take it personally. Sometimes you have to prime the pump to get things going again. When were you planning on taking me out again, big boy?
Life is one difficult challenge
If he takes the bait, game on. Once upon a time, I was dating three lovely women. Then I met this really cute, supersmart adventurous grad student at a party. We hit it off, the sex was amazing, and now there were four. And she was perfectly okay with my other liaisons. But if you would like to choose to continue with just me and get deeper, I would really welcome that.
Real reasons why women lose interest in men
Within the hour, I had called it off with the other three. And, thinking about them now, they were great women. To them, it was deus ex machinaan abrupt end without explanation and strangely enough, also in Latin. But from this vantage point, you can see the submerged part of the iceberg. And you know what? Count on it.
So did I make the right decision? Was she in fact the better deal? Well, that was one of the most disastrous relationships I have ever had.