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But the year-old says it's also the quickest way to help her relax and "focus completely on the present moment". There are many reasons people have sex even when they don't feel like it — and the consequences can be good and bad, depending on why you're doing it, explains sexologist Kassandra Mourikis. The difference between having sex when you're not in the mood and sexual assault or coercion is consent.


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Want to improve your sex life? These simple ideas and techniques could help both you and your lover enjoy better sex.

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With so much emphasis these days on hooking up, swiping right, and showing off those couples selfies on Instagram, it can honestly feel like everyone in the world is having more or better!

But whether you're in a new relationship, or well beyond the honeymoon stage of a long-term romance, or you're single and ready to mingle, there are some easy ways to know that you've got a pretty great sex life already. A healthy sex life is important no matter what your relationship status is, but the good news is, feeling connected with your own body, as well as your partner's, is actually a pretty easy way to get in tune with your sex drive, no matter what your friends, neighbors, or friends on social media are up to.

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We're all busy, but whether you've been married for decades or flying solo, you should be taking some time on occasion to explore your own body and find out what feels good to you. Plenty of people think of sex as something that requires two or more! Yes, even if you're partnered up. Sex begets sex, thanks to our biochemistry. That means more masturbation le to more partnered sex.

In a world where the cultural ideals of beauty are painfully narrow for all gendersfeeling comfortable in your own skin can feel like a seriously tall order. But when you have a positive body image and you feel good about yourself, you'll get more enjoyment out of your sexual encounters.

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Feeling confident is an important, but often challenging, part of having a healthy sex life. As sex therapist Jane GreerPhD, told Women's Health in"Both of you have a good sense of your sexual esteem and feel attractive and desirable. Even if you miss a week, or one of you isn't in the mood, it doesn't define your entire intimate life. As a result, neither of you take these moods personally.

The key to maintaining this confidence is staying proactive in expressing and acting upon your desires to sexually connect with your partner.

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Great sex essentially boils down to one key element: communication. And when you feel comfortable expressing your wants and needs with your partner, you'll feel at ease and excited to try things out. Certified sex therapist Aline ZoldbrodPhD, told Prevention in that "good sex is all about finding your perfect recipe," which means talking it out, even when it feels awkward. Telling your partner what you want is important, but it's just as important to discuss what you don't want, whether it's something that doesn't feel good, or simply that you're just not into it today.

As crucial as it is to communicate about your sexual I just want a night of some good sex, it's even more crucial that you feel connected with your partner on other, less sexy things. So when you feel a close bond with your ificant other, you'll feel those good vibes radiate in all areas of your relationship, which will extend to your sex life.

Board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino told Women's Health, "Feeling emotionally connected and wanted by your partner makes you more interested in sex. It's easy, especially in a long-term relationship, to have those moments where your mind drifts off elsewhere during intimate moments — and it can happen out of nowhere, when suddenly you're thinking about the household chores, or something that happened at work, or something going on with your kids — and suddenly you're feeling infinitely less sexy.

But if you're generally having mindful sexyou're probably getting plenty of enjoyment out of the experience.

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As Psychology Today notes, "Mindful sex is when you're totally and completely immersed in the physical sensations of your body. It means that you're able to let these distracting thoughts go without getting stuck on them.

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Life gets in the way of a lot of things, so most of us know what it feels like to inadvertently put our partner on the back burner. But no matter what life throws at you — work commitments, family situations, whatever else — you make sure to carve out time with your partner, sexual or otherwise.

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Make I just want a night of some good sex a priority by scheduling a sex date once a week. When couples do this, it's a that they want to please each other. But even if you only have time to schedule an early morning quickie or a lazy Sunday afternoon sex session, when you make the time regularly to be with your partner one-on-one, you'll enjoy the benefits when you're not between the sheets.

Not every sexual encounter has to involve hanging from chandeliers or twisting one's body into something that resembles a pretzel, but if you are open and trusting with your partner, there's a good chance you don't mind switching things up on occasion. And that's a good thing. Even if you're adding little tweaks, like new toys, outfits, or positions, from time to time, it shows that you're invested in the state of your union. And, let's be real, variety is the spice of life, so why not try different things?

Sometimes, you'll be into marathon sex sessions, but other times, you're both just in for a quickie. Getting stuck in a rut is surprisingly common though, and doesn't mean anything is wrong. Kristin Zeising, PsyD, a certified sex therapist, told Prevention, "Most couples find they get stuck in a certain sexual routineand they may feel less interested in sex if it feels like they're in a rut.

As long as you're willing to communicate and try something different, you're probably on the right track. Life happens, and few of us find time for mind-blowing intimacy all the time. But as long as you don't stress about it, it's totally normal for things to ebb and flow when it comes to romance. Zeising told Prevention, "It's important to have realistic ideas about what a healthy sex life is. If you accept there's no right or wrong way to be sexual, and you and your partner are open with each other about when you're feeling it and when you aren't, then you will have a healthy sex life.

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It's important to assert yourself so you can get what you're looking for, but sex with your partner is a two-way street. When you take the time to make sure your partner is happy and fulfilled, you'll reap those feel-good benefits, too. As Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for Good Vibrations told Women's Health, "While orgasming is not the whole point of sex, the absence of orgasm is a al that something else is missing, like comfort, info about what turns you on, arousal, time, and mutual respect. If you're not on the same as far as the timing of sex, take each other's specific needs into and alter your sexual schedule accordingly.

No matter how smooth and sensual it I just want a night of some good sex in pop culturesex is often times awkward, clumsy, and weird. Even if you have insanely steamy chemistry with someone, anything can happen when it comes to sex.

A position that doesn't work, a move that in a near fall off the bed, or even a bodily function that you didn't anticipate … let's be real, bodies do all kinds of strange things, but the most important thing is not to stress when an unexpected situation pops up. If you can laugh it off and carry on accordingly, you've probably got a pretty great sex life. Yes, it's definitely important to focus on your needs and your partner's needs when it comes to sex, but sometimes knowing that you have a good sex life comes from the way you feel outside the bedroom.

Relationship expert Lori Bizzoco told Bustle, "The truth is, sex relaxes you, so if you find that you are happier, lighter on your feet and have less stress over the small things, you probably have a good sex life. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.

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Get the Insider App. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation. Arielle Tschinkel. Whether you're in a new relationship, playing the field, or in a long-term commitment, it's natural to wonder about the state of your sex life. But the truth of the matter is, a 'good' sex life means something different for everyone. If you're getting what you want and need, and you feel comfortable communicating your wants and needs with your partner, your sex life is probably pretty great. You masturbate. You feel comfortable in your own skin. You feel empowered to ask for you what you want.

Your communication is on point outside the bedroom too. You're present during sex. You prioritize time with your partner. You're game to try new things from time to time. You're not stressed about how often you're getting it on. You get what you want, but you're also giving too.

You masturbate.

You don't take sex so seriously. You're happy outside the bedroom. Dating Freelancer Evergreen story.