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What distinguishes occasionally abusive behavior from an abusive relationship is the systematic attempt to control or dominate. Although control and domination are often used synonymously, they differ in motivation. Control is driven by fear or anxiety.
Years ago, I wrote a post about the use of parental nagging and have since been taken to task by younger readers for supporting this unwelcome source of adult influence. It is counterproductive in relation to getting the actual task done and builds resentment on both sides. The nagger is in a persistent state of victimhood, the nagged because they are continually harassed. The same definition still holds for me: Parental nagging is the use of repeated asking to convince a reluctant child to abide by a family rule or to cooperate with an adult request.
Emotional abuse can be a destructive force even in the absence of violence. There may be no external s of the damage being done, but ongoing mental and emotional abuse does real harm, both psychological and physical.
An emotionally abusive relationship often involves subtle but pernicious forms of mental abuse, including gaslightingcontrol, manipulation, and invalidation — intentional or otherwise. These tactics are often disguised as concern or a professed desire to be together. But when persistent, they amount to emotional abuse and are silent killers of marriages.
Da d psychologist in Menlo Park, California.
They make unreasonable demands and expect that their partner put everything aside in order to meet their needs. They can be defensive and discount how bad emotional abuse is. Though specific examples of emotional abuse may be unique to each relationship, there are patterns of behavior to watch for. Emotional abuse can be hard to define within a relationship, and difficult to express to those outside of it. Offenders may see accusations of emotional abuse as a that a spouse is a nag or too sensitive.
There are some common s that a relationship may be emotionally abusive. If a spouse is constantly checking up on their ificant other, asking for updates of their whereabouts, demanding that they answer texts immediately, and bullying them for information, this is often emotional abuse. This can also present itself in the form of gift-giving that is dependent on compliance.
An emotional abuser knows how to get what they want from their partner, and has amassed a wide array of tools in order to do it. Insults might sound like an obvious of emotional abuse. But when emotional abuse is present, the insults come masked as little jabs and backhanded compliments.
You could look like that if you tried. Inspired by the film Gaslightthe term refers to psychological manipulation in which one person is consistently lead to believe that their thoughts and feelings are incorrect — an oft-used tactic of emotional abusers. Keeping a spouse completely cut off from outside influences is another form of control and manipulation.
The big problem with such scenarios is, absent of actual physical harm, the victim gets lulled into complacency and deluded into believing that things could be worse.
5 s you might be guilty of emotional abuse
This is not the case. If you or someone you know is experiencing any kind of abuse, then you have to make a change. Ideally, a good relationship makes you feel loved, cherished and protected. If you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship get the professional help you when you are stronger you can decide to leave.
You deserve better.
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By Jeremy Brown. Abuse emotional abuse marriage advice relationship advice.