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Should we be laying down the rules? Minding our own business? Teenagers can be prickly about their privacy, especially when it comes to something as intimate as romance.


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Posted June 4, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. In a recent study, however, we explored what women, from 18 to 75, need from the men in their lives. Not surprisingly, the qualities women seek in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and men in general, are not all that different from what they seek in a friend.

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This makes sense: Any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.

A cautionary tale

Even when a potential partner brings all of the following qualities to a relationship, that's no guarantee that the two of you will have good "chemistry" or meet up at the right time for each of you to enter a new relationship. The traits that women tend to value and need most from the men in their lives can be categorized in three discrete areas: moral integrity from all men ; relational sensitivity from friends and partners ; and satisfying intimacy from romantic partners.

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Mutual respect is an all-or-nothing proposition: Once a person loses respect for a partner, all bets are off. Women should be given the same respect that men offer other men.

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When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later. Women need the men in their lives to be feminist allies who want to see the women in their lives succeed every bit as much as they want to enjoy their own success.

Men should take time to recognize and acknowledge a woman's strengths and respect her for all that she brings to their relationship. And when it comes to romantic connection, women want the same things men want; they might just want them in a different order.

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Suzanne Degges-White, Ph. Suzanne Degges-White Ph. Lifetime Connections. About the Author. Online: FacebookLinkedInTwitter.

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