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She was watching cartoons on the living room floor of her Mississippi home when she heard the bang.
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She went to investigate and found her year-old sister, Donna, dead in her bed. For Sawyer — who sat on the bedroom floor near her sister's body for hours that day, waiting for her mother to come home from her door-to-door missionary work — it was the beginning of a long, painful journey that would one day tear her family apart. Years later, Sawyer got excommunicated, too, after seeking a divorce from an abusive husband. She ended up leaving the husband — and the faith.
Her family cut all ties. The deaths sparked outrage among scores of ex-JWs nationwide who took to Facebook, online forums, blogs and YouTube, arguing the tragedy highlights a pervasive yet rarely-publicized problem within the church: Shunning is pushing the most vulnerable people over the edge, they say, and tearing families apart. In the Michigan case, a distraught mother shot and killed her husband, her two grown children and herself in their Keego Harbor home, shocking the small and quiet Oakland County community.
The shooter was Lauren Stuart, a part-time model and personal Lonely women Keego Harbor who struggled with depression and spent much of her time working on her house, her friends say. She and her husband, Daniel Stuart, 47, left the JW faith more than a decade ago over doctrinal and social issues.
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Among them was their desire to send their kids to college, which many ex-JWs say is frowned upon by the church and viewed as spiritually dangerous. But the Stuarts sent both their kids to college: Steven, 27, excelled in computers, just like his father, who was a data solutions architect for the University of Michigan Medical School.
Bethany, 24, thrived in art and graphic de. After the parents left the faith, the Stuarts were ostracized by the Kingdom Hall — the churches where Jehovah's Witnesses worship — community in Union Lake and their families, friends said. Lauren Stuart, whose mother died of cancer when she was 12, struggled Lonely women Keego Harbor mental illness that went untreated; isolation and fears that the end was near, said friends and officials familiar with the case. One friend who requested anonymity said she believes the killing was the result of depression, not religion. Depression is so prevalent, and when it goes untreated this is what happens," the friend said.
Longtime family friend Joyce Taylor believes depression, shunning and religion-based doomsday fears all played a role. She said that about six weeks before the killings, Lauren started getting religiously preoccupied and telling her "'It's the end times, I Lonely women Keego Harbor it is.
Weeks later, Taylor saw her friend again. Lauren had a vacant look in her eyes. She was emotionally distressed. A week later, with her home decorated for Valentine's Day, Lauren Stuart killed her family.
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She left behind a suicide note. Taylor, a former Jehovah's Witness herself who left the faith inexplained: "Jehovah's Witnesses believe that if you die on this side of Armageddon, you'll be resurrected in paradise. In Lauren Stuart's case, Taylor believes her friend never deprogrammed after leaving the church — a state she describes as "physically out, but mentally in. Had she not been excommunicated by her tight-knit community that was once her entire support system — left with no one to share her fears with — Lauren Stuart may not have done what she did, Taylor believes.
Shunning "can lead to great trauma among people because the Jehovah's Witnesses are a very tight-knit community," said Mathew Schmalz, a religious studies associate professor at the College of Holy Cross in Worcester, Mass. Police have not yet disclosed details about the death of the Stuart family besides calling it a murder-suicide.
The tragedy has emboldened many once-quiet ex-JWs to speak up. Many say they suffered quietly on their own for years until they discovered an online community full of isolated, ostracized people like themselves — people who had lost someone to suicide or attempted suicide themselves because their families, friends and church community had written them off for making mistakes, for being human.
The church calls it being "disfellowshipped. But unless or until that happens, members are encouraged to avoid the sinners, especially those who leave the faith. Mothers go years, even decades, without talking to Lonely women Keego Harbor children. Siblings write off siblings. Friends shun friends. Their names are published at local Kingdom Halls. Of those, two-thirds never return.
Within a faith representing 8. Those who are speaking against it, current members argue, are disgruntled and angry people who have an ax to grind because they were disfellowshipped. Or, they are lost souls who have misinterpreted the meaning and love behind the faith. Members say they believe the shunning accusations Lonely women Keego Harbor exaggerated and that the suicides are often more about mental illness than ostracism.
Sawyer believes the shunning drove her sister to suicide. Bad things happened to Sawyer, too. At 30, she sought a divorce from her husband because he was abusive and cheating on her, she said. But the church elders and family pressured her to save her marriage. Sawyer took up smoking to handle the stress, which got her disfellowshipped because smoking is not allowed.
She also Lonely women Keego Harbor through with the divorce. She ended up losing her home to foreclosure and turned to her mother for help as she had two children to raise. Sawyer ended up homeless for six months, living out of her car in a community college parking lot. She landed on her feet with the help of a student loan.
She got an apartment, a job as a hospice nurse and her children — now 10 and 18 — back. She found herself, but lost her family along the way. And that's the last thing she ever said to me. By then, he had been an elder three times — a job that troubled him as he often found himself judging and sanctioning people who had sinned in the eyes of the church: Smokers.
Drug users. But then came the day when the church judged his own children. That's when Gracey said he started rebelling. According to Gracey, his daughter was the rebellious type growing up and suffered from mental illness.
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She got into drugs and became homeless at one point, but tried to get her life in order. At 33, she got baptized and over the next four years she was disfellowshipped twice and reinstated twice.
But in Januaryfollowing a meeting with church elders, Laura fatally overdosed on prescription medication. She had been living in an apartment complex with other JWs in California and had a medical marijuana card for anxiety and stress.
They failed to protect her in her most vulnerable state. That same year, Gracey would suffer more heartache at the hands of his church. An investigation followed and an administrative judge and child protective services made a finding that the JWs were guilty of child maltreatment.
Gracey, who considers himself agnostic now, is focused on helping all Lonely women Keego Harbor his family escape the JW organization. It is a cult that splits up families and separates people from life. For years, the ex-communicated JW has been afraid to speak about her fallout with the church out of fear of upsetting her family.
She knows of four ex-JWs who attempted suicide, including herself. Two friends were successful; one girl hanged herself; the man shot himself in the head. My mother already treats me like I am dead. And to know that I am actively speaking against the organization would kill her. Tyler is not the woman's real name, but her pen name. She requested anonymity to avoid repercussions from relatives, though she's yearning to let the world know her story.
Tyler was born and raised in Detroit and now lives in Eastpointe. They have two children, ages 11 and 8. Her husband has been her rock during what has been a tumultuous last seven years. Since getting disfellowshipped, she was hospitalized several times for depression and went through suicidal periods. Will I ever see my mother again? Maybe three years ago? She said she and her husband recently told the congregation of their shunning experience and she could hear the gasps in the pews. Tyler said she was moved to go public with her story following the recent murder-suicide in Keego Harbor.
When she Lonely women Keego Harbor the shooter was a shunned JW, she cringed, as did many others who believe the ostracism played a role in the killing. With no one to turn to, they said, her world went dark. For Californian Kerry Kaye, the Keego Harbor killings triggered a host of emotions: anger, pain, frustration.
She, too, is part of the ex-JW community and lost a very good friend to suicide more than 20 years ago. Kaye was in her early 20s when her friend committed suicide after being disfellowshipped for getting pregnant out of wedlock.
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The woman was 20 years old and seven months pregnant at the time. She admits that she once shunned her own father at the direction of the church. Kaye was 24 when she left the church. Her father had left the faith a few years earlier after the church pressured him to leave his government job, telling him he had to choose the faith or his work. He picked the job and disassociated himself.