Swipe Right is our advice column that tackles the tricky world of online dating. This week: how to find a semi-regular hookup — and avoid scary messages. I am 37, a single mom and am looking to find someonebut not a boyfriend.
After years of slowly losing my mojo and sexual confidence, I am slowly rediscovering my drives and desires and now want to find someone to explore that with. I am looking for a semi-regular hookup with someone I can get to know over time and explore my sexuality, but I am not ready to actually meet someone for the longer term. How on earth do I ask for this on an app like Tinder without getting scary messages?
Good for you. This is a great start! I have long believed that the secret to finding a lasting partnership is less about meeting the one but rather about meeting some one who you find attractive and interesting but who also — and this is crucial — wants the same kind of relationship that you do at the same time that you want it.
Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings. Your point that advertising this on your profile may elicit creepy messages is not an irrelevant one, but I do think for maximum efficiency you should be pretty clear that you are looking for something casual because of your existing commitments. And you do want someone who is very sex-positive.
If your tastes run to the kinky, you could also consider investigating in apps and sites that are more open about their focus on sex, such as Fetlife. Good luck!
Swipe right: online dating for the real world Dating. I want a casual hookup, not a relationship — how do I say that on Tinder?
This week: how to find a semi-regular hookup — and avoid scary messages Got your own online dating quandaries? Swipe Right Illustration: Celine Loup. Thu 12 Nov Dear Eva, I am 37, a single mom and am looking to find someonebut not a boyfriend.
Basically, I want someone to have sex with and not much else. Hey, you.
Love, Eva. Reuse this content.