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The banality of evil? The James Bond movies have never heard of it.
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True, I did swindle some orphans and bunnies. Deliciously, I vanquished Dr. Fortunately, the field of henchology is no longer limited to mere men, who I know from personal experience would rather live in a ridiculous fantasy world than wrestle with the issues of the day or those polar bears.
Today, an evil employer has options. Vargas and his colleagues Dr. Doom, Dr. Evil, and Dr. Finally, some good news: It turns out hench is a mega-productive prefix and the hench-business is ever-bustling, even in an economic downturn.
Those words are the primordial predecessors of hench-bunny-men and hench-robot. This brings us to the wild world of contemporary hench-folk, who are usually mentioned in a fictional or humorous setting. Some henchnames reinforce the lackeydom of such lackeys henchgoonhenchminionhench-thug while other reinforce their monsteriness hench-vamphench-thinghench-zombie or evil henchscumhench-lawyer. A few names remind us that very few henchpersons could win a battle of wits with a box of rocks; these include henchmoronhenchidiotand henchdoofus.
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But the funnest of the fun are the terms that take the hench prefix on a wild ride to words and beings not usually associated with the hench-istic arts: I think henchnoncorporeal being might be my favorite, though hench-toddler is a contender. Perhaps because pet-havers are called masters, many people can imagine their pets as hench-companions, inspiring the words henchdoghench-ferrethench-hamsterand hench-kitty. Bizarrely, there are several terms such as hench-cleavage and hench-breastswhich might be an indication of how boob-obsessed the world is, or a that the cleavage-killing Chesty Morgan and her Deadly Weapons are more influential than I thought.
Vargas gets one, I will too! Damn him!
Anyhoo, besides its wide use as a prefix, hench has been up to other lexical shenanigans. It would be my personal bodyguard!!
Mos definitely a lion! Hands down!
An upcoming movie about a struggling henchman is called Henchso I imagine the word will continue to take on a wide-ranging, man-free life of its own, as noun, adjective, prefix, and whatever else it pleases. So, employers and warlords and supreme leaders, let this be a lesson!
Clip and save the following list of hench-folks. Refer to it as you write an ad for Craigslist or Evil Illustrated.
Jose Cuervo and his hench-cacti are out to get me. The dominant sound, in fact, is the scraping of the placards against the inside of the envelopes as he pulls each one out. Is this great TV or what! Glenn Greenwald, Matt Stoller, Jane Hamsher and others tried to get in, only to discover how aggressively private the party was.
The lair includes a sauna. And sooner rather than later. Every night, Brain hatches a plot to take over the world with Pinky as his faithful if insane hench-rodent.
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