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It seems a little weird that people want predictability in their relationships so bad, that they get frustrated at the first of the hot and cold tactic. Of course, not all of us like to play games. Some of us are of a more serious disposition — we know it when we like someone, we are upfront about it, and we stay committed. So, how does one deal with a partner who is playing hot and cold Playing hot and cold causing mayhem in their otherwise calm and romantic minds? Well, the key is to remember that everyone wants stability — but each individual works towards it according to their circumstances and nature. Some people like to be straightforward, and others like to be in control!

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Is there anything more unsettling and frustrating? Something suddenly shifts. Or he shuts down.

Or he withdraws. You have no idea where he stands. Is he into you or not? You may try to talk to him about it, but that effectively gets you nowhere.

Most of the time, hot and cold behavior manifests from unconscious feelings. Here is what usually happens in these hot and cold situations.

How to handle someone who likes to play hot and cold

Let me explain. In the beginning, he starts off red hot.

Men are competitive by nature and when he meets a girl he likes, his innate drives kick in and he pursues her. He brings his A-game and really steps up to win her over.

The dating game of hot and cold

Then things get a little more settled and it appears like his interest is waning. What changed? And if you really like this guy, this will send you into a panic. People have work and school and other obligations.

In the beginning, he does it because he really wants to win you over. That is essentially the switch women feel.

Blowing hot and cold (the psychology behind the dating game)

This is usually the one reason a man will pull away or withdraw from a relationship. Men deal with stress and difficulties differently than most women. Men typically prefer to retreat and work things out internally rather than talking about it and seeking others out for comfort. The best thing you can do is just Playing hot and cold nothing.

Give him the space he needs and just focus on your own life. Men are not in a hepace to be compassionate and loving when they are stressed and off balance and it will be very hard for you not to take his behavior personally. But only if you respect his need for space! This is a huge mistake most women Playing hot and cold. So he settles into a more comfortable routine, and that often means he is slightly less engaged in the relationship. This one stings. No one wants this to be the truth. At the root of his hot and cold behavior is a whopping dose of uncertainty.

The switch you feel in this scenario is really just him testing the waters to see if he wants to dive in. Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game. First things first, take an honest look at the relationship and try to figure out the reason for his behavior. It will most likely be due to one of the three reasons listed above. No matter what the reason, the worst possible thing to do is chase after him. This instinct is activated by fear and will come across as desperate and needy. Another mistake is to retaliate and act cold toward him. Just go with it.

In this case, stop focusing on the relationship so much and instead focus on yourself and on enjoying your life and bring that positive energy into the relationship. In this case, the best thing you can do is move on. There is no point in degrading yourself trying to win him over and get him to like you.

Instead of seeing this as a loss, see it as a win. I hope this article helped you better understand why men can run hot and cold.

Before you decide what to do next, you need to know about the two defining moments in a relationship that will determine if it lasts or if you get your heart broken. The next thing most women are unaware of is what actually inspires a man to commit for life. Do you know the answer?

I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate.

Why hot and cold behaviour is so attractive

If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. I was devestated and he made me feel like a cheap whore, it deeply impacted my feeling of self worth. When he finally contacted me again i was furious and told him to get lost. On top of it, before we had Playing hot and cold he lied and said he loved me in order to get me to have sex with him.

Amy, I am sorry that happened to you. However, guys can be like that and there is nothing you can do about it. The worst thing is to get upset or to lose Playing hot and cold. But, never lose hope! I never heard of hot cold men till the other day i met someone and he was texting then complete silence. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? Question 1 of No, he never spends time with me. It's like I don't exist. He spends more time doing random things. Internet, friends, work, etc.

Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has. Written by Sabrina Alexis. How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Barbara Amy, I am sorry that happened to you.

The hot and cold guy: why is he hot and cold (and what to do about it)

Sylvia Molina I never heard of hot cold men till the other day i met someone and he was texting then complete silence. Search A New Mode. Recent Relationship Forum Activity Should I be worried if a guy doesn't want to go to yours but whats you to go to 40 minutes ago. About Does He Like Me? Yes, but he never seems to want to be there. I don't know. I'm so confused. I just want the spark back. Yes, he used to do things I liked, but now he could care less.