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And Scripture clearly states that sex belongs in marriage, between one man and one woman. Sex is a holy mystery. Different cultures have different ways of arranging marriage and marking the marital bond.

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As a psychologist specializing in character development, I am often asked to speak to young people about sex. I usually begin by saying:. Whichever group you belong to, I'd like to offer you a way of thinking about sex—a way I believe will help you make good sexual decisions, ones that will help you build a good character and lead a good and happy life.

In fact, about half of Sexual relationships before marriage teens are virgins. Furthermore, the National Survey of Family Growth found a drop in adolescent sexual activity for both males and females, ages 15 to 19, for the first time since the survey began in According to a of studies, students who get good grades, who have goals for the future, who abstain from drugs and alcohol, and who often attend religious services are all ificantly less likely to have had sex than students who do not possess these qualities.

So if you're a virgin, you're in good company. Love means wanting what is best for the other person, seeking the greatest good for that person. How do you know when somebody really loves you?

Benefits in delaying sex until marriage

When he or she wants what is truly best for your welfare, your happiness—now and in the future. Measured against this standard, is having sex without being married truly an act of love? Think about the harmful consequences that can come from sex between unmarried persons. Consider these lines from the pamphlet "Love Waits":. Love is patient, love is kind. Love wants what is best for another person. Love never demands something that will harm you or the person you love. Love will never cross the line between what's right and wrong.

It's wrong to put one another in danger of having to deal with hard choices. Having sex before marriage may feel right for the moment. But the possible costs of an unexpected pregnancy, abortion, and sexually transmitted disease—as well as the deep hurts that can come from a broken relationship—outweigh the feelings of Sexual relationships before marriage moment. The feelings are temporary; their consequences are long-lasting. All good things are worth waiting for. Waiting until marriage to have sex is a mature decision to control your desires.

Premarital sex

If you are getting to know someone—or are in a relationship—remember: If it's love, love waits. There are two ways to respond to this question.

One is to explain why contraception goes against Sexual relationships before marriage plan for sex, even in marriage. God des sex for two purposes: to be love-giving and life-giving. Sex is for deepening love between a husband and wife and for the procreation of children. God intended for these two purposes to be inseparable. That's why He places sex within marriage; it's the only relationship where a man and woman can give themselves to each other totally and can responsibly conceive and raise.

This is an awesome and sacred privilege—being able to cooperate with God in the creation of his own children, whom he desires to live eternally in his company.

Contraception is contrary to God's plan because it artificially separates sexual love from its God-given power to create new life. By contrast, Natural Family Planning NFP involves abstaining from sex during the few days each month when a woman can get pregnant.

Does sexual history affect marital happiness?

There's a second way to respond to the question about "protection," and that's to ask: Does contraception really make unmarried sex "safe," as is so commonly claimed? No matter what type of contraception is used, a girl can still get pregnant. It happens—and then there is a developing life to deal with. What about AIDS? Medical studies show that condoms provide even less protection "zero" to "some" against what are now the three most common STDs.

The bible on premarital sex and sexual morality

Human papilloma virus HPVwhich is the cause of virtually all cervical cancer, can infect anywhere in the male or female genital region and may be spread by skin-to-skin contact during sex. Chlamydia which, undetected, can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and scarring of the fallopian tubes, is the fastest growing cause of infertility and may be transmitted by skin contact outside the area covered by the condom.

Herpes, which causes genital sores, cannot be cured, and, like HPV Sexual relationships before marriage chlamydia, can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact in the entire genital area. What about the mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences of temporary sexual relationships? Sex involves our full person, our whole self.

There is no condom for the heart, mind, or soul. Here is a teenage girl speaking of her experience:. I am 16 and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn't care that much about. Since that first night, he expects sex on every date.

Sex, love and character: a message to young people

When I don't feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don't think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl's life. After you've done it, things are never the same. It changes everything. My advice is, don't be in such a rush. It's a headache and a worry.

Why some christians still don't want to have sex before marriage

Sex is not for entertainment. It should be a commitment. Be smart and save yourself for someone you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with. The psychological and spiritual repercussions of sex outside marriage are many and varied. They include: 1 Regret and self-recrimination; 2 worry about becoming pregnant or getting an STD; 3 the emotional turmoil associated with an unexpected pregnancy, the stress of premature parenthood or the self-sacrifice of adoption, or the trauma and aftermath of abortion; 4 guilt; 5 feelings of being used; 5 self-contempt for being a user; 6 the lowered self-esteem that accompanies finding out you have a sexually transmitted disease; 7 fear of commitment because of having been burned; 8 rage over betrayal, sometimes leading to violence; 9 depression, sometimes leading to suicide; 10 ruined relationships because sex often comes to dominate a relationship ; 11 stunted personal growth because premature sex can hinder your identity development ; 12 the marital stress that comes from infertility caused by an STD; and 13 the separation from God that serious sin, until repented, always causes.

You don't see these consequences of sex outside marriage depicted on TV or in the movies. You don't read about them in Seventeen or Sassy. But they are very real. Over Sexual relationships before marriage years, I have collected the personal stories of people who have experienced these unhappy Sexual relationships before marriage.

A college guy says, "I finally got a girl into bed when I was Then she started saying she loved me and getting clingy. After four weeks of having sex as often as I wanted, I was tired of her and dumped her.

Premarital sexual relationships: explanation of the actions and functions of family

That made me feel pretty low, because I could see that she was hurting. Another college male talks about his loss of self-control: "I had always heard that having sex was a way to get rid of sexual tension, but having sex just increased my desire. Sexual relationships before marriage was like a drug. I couldn't stop myself, yet at the same time, I wasn't satisfied at all. A year-old wife says, "Sometime during my wild college days, I picked up an infection that damaged the inside of my fallopian tubes and left me infertile. I am now married to a wonderful man who very much wants children, and the guilt I feel is overwhelming.

We will look into adoption, but this whole ordeal has been terribly difficult. In short, contraceptive devices don't make sex physically safe you can still get pregnant or sickemotionally safe you can still get hurtor ethically loving you can't claim to love someone if you're gambling with that person's health, life, and future happiness. What if you're planning to get married—isn't sex okay then? One way to answer this question is to ask: What is the intrinsic meaning of sexual intercourse?

When you have sexual intercourse with someone, you are being as physically intimate as it is possible to be with another human being. When you're married, this kind of intimacy is part of a total commitment. You your bodies because you've ed your lives.

The ultimate intimacy belongs within the ultimate commitment. Pope John Paul II points out that bodily actions, just like words, have meanings.

In body language, sex says to the other person, "I give myself to you completely. However, sex before marriage is like saying, "I give myself to you completely, but not really. You aren't completely committed yet. About half the people who get married have Sexual relationships before marriage engaged at least once before. Premarital sex can also fool you into marrying the wrong person. Seven different studies, cited in David Myers' book The Pursuit of Happiness, find that couples who lived together before their marriage are ificantly more likely to divorce than couples who did not live together.

A high school counselor offers this wise advice: "If you don't want to drive over a cliff, don't pull up to the edge and race the engine.