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We hear the phrase "emotionally unavailable" thrown around quite a bit, but what does that even mean, really?


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Think back to when you were involved with someone who threw you into the emotional wringer. Nope, still no response to your text from seven hours ago. It'd be nice if the term was just a throwaway label to help you deal with people who just aren't interested in committing to you.

But sadly, the breed does in fact exist.

And as anyone with a pulse knows, feelings can be scary. But that goes tenfold for the emotionally unavailable, who use excuses and aloofness to hide from authentic connection.

As if dating today weren't hard enough, plucking out the emotionally unavailable from an already shrinking pool of available partners is just one more thing you have to deal with. Can't a sister catch a break? They shrink away from vulnerable moments that would otherwise create a real connection.

There's a distinct difference between someone who is emotionally unavailable and someone who is slow to open up, Cohen notes. So if you hear "Let's take things slow ," that's not necessarily a relationship death wish. No surprise here, but what it comes down to is communication. There are a few reasons someone might be emotionally unavailable, some of which are bigger red flags than others. As a kid, they learned to quiet their emotions and unattach themselves from other people they have what's called an avoidant attachment style. Unaddressed childhood wounds and beliefs no doubt bleed into their adult relationships as do yours, btw.

10 s your partner is emotionally unavailable

Too real? Try being on the other end of it, too. Neither side is fun. Dating today is hard—emotionally unavailable people are only one piece of it. Here, some help to navigate the rest:. Great question—and now I'll answer it, since I know that's what brought you here. The emotionally unavailable type might manifest in various ways, but these are common s, per experts, that you're dealing with one:. If your partner is emotionally evasive, your intimate life might be getting more mild by the day. Touch, compliments, and duh sex are all means to intimacy, which the emotionally unavailable avoids.

The result? This applies for the little sweet gesturestoo. Say you pick up his favorite Sweetgreen salad on your way home, to show him you're thinking of him and want to make him happy.

Still nada? Someone who is emotionally unavailable can be hard to get in contact with, and communication even via text can be spotty. It's intentional.

New phone who dis?: is being “emotionally unavailable” holding you back?

It's For the emotionally unavailable, people who wear their heart on their sleeves are easy to criticize and judge. This goes back to their avoidant attachment style, which is why they associate emotional needs with negativity. Uncomfortable with being serious, they might poke fun of you or lighten the mood when you start real talk cue: "You're so sensitive". They may not even realize they're doing it again, they're not good at reading emotions.

Regardless, feeling misunderstood or dismissed can feel like a harsh rejection, not to mention extremely frustrating, especially when you're trying to handle things diplomatically. Really, they struggle hardcore to be empathetic.

They often blame others rather than recognizing and confronting the emotional fallout. The more you try to connect, Feuerman says, the more they pull away. Equal partnership, who?

8 s of an emotionally unavailable partner

She notes when that person stops putting energy into the relationship, the end is nigh. Whatever your choice, proceed with caution. Again, while emotional unavailability could be a temporary result of one's current circumstances, many times, it goes way back to long before they met you. If the person shows no s of changing their habits, think of moving on as an act of self-care. I know it sucks to give up on someone you want, but it will be a lot less painful if you part ways early.

Just remember to be gentle and patient, and try not to get all heated up.

Partnered with this talk and a concerted, mutual keyword here effort to progress—bonus points if your partner goes to therapy! Weight Loss.

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