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The Frisky -- Men get all kinds of dating advice -- some smart, some stupid. If you're a guy, it's hard to know who to believe when it comes to us women.
But all the cute boys aren't smart. The thing is, that little girl was right as anyone I've ever known. And though her mama didn't want to admit it, she totally knew it, too. Since this past January, I've been dealing with three different kinds of dumb men. It's a shame that these men have been so uneducated about the things that matter and either too lazy or unwilling to educate themselves more. They were beautiful and charming as all hell.
Did you ever wonder why so many smart girls end up with dumb guys? Many people do. As someone who has dated men who weren't particularly bright, I can explain it.
1. there's a lot of truth to the "brainless beauty" trope.
Just like with any other personality trait, there are perks and pitfalls to being with someone who isn't quite as bright as you. Here's some dating advice and insight into why some girls like dating dumb guys, Smart girl dating dumb guy why most girls are wise to stay away from them. Don't ask me why, but a lot of the guys I dated had the bodies of Greek gods accompanied by the brains of a moldy baked potato. Call me shallow, but I really did enjoy how gorgeous they were. Truthfully, I felt pretty awesome walking down the street with them, especially when I saw looks of envy from other women.
Smart guys might try to do things subtly, and if you're like me you might not notice subtle.
When you're dealing with a real-life Derek Zoolander, you can expect to see some pretty grand gestures, many of which might misfire and potentially get him arrested. If an idiot tries to cheat, he won't be smart enough to cover his tracks. Guys who aren't particularly bright are easier to read, which makes it easier for you to hash things out. Note: Book smarts and maturity aren't the same thing.
This is assuming he's at least somewhat emotionally mature.
It's hard not to laugh when I look back and think of the ex I had who told me that my eyes were as green as lemons. After he realized that lemons weren't green, he decided to tell me that they were as green as roses, because it was more romantic.
He still has yet to realize that roses aren't green and it's been over six years. He was sober the entire time. The best part about this is that you don't even have to date a dumb guy to get in on half of these epic drinking stories. It truly was amazing watching my friend's boyfriend call up a hotel and ask the concierge on the other end of the phone how a building could talk over the phone.
Amazingly, this guy was both drunk and serious, and was also trying to book us a room. We confiscated the phone from him.
Believe it or not, a lot of dopey guys can offer a girl a great life together. As long as they have a big heart, are willing to work on themselves, and have some emotional intelligence, they can be the boyfriend you've always wanted to have. If you like to introduce people to new things, this is a good option. Of course, this is based on the assumption that they're willing to try out new things. Some aren't.
Why do smart, beautiful women settle for dumber guys?
Personally, I'd take a good-hearted but naive man over a bitter yet intelligent person. It may sound bad, but at least you know they'll have their hearts in the right place when they screw up. It's really difficult to date long-term when you can't have intelligent conversations. Even if it's only once in a while, you do want to talk about things like technology, books and art with your partner. When all you get in return is a blank stare, it can get really old, really fast.
Admittedly, there are certain topics I will never understand. However, when you regularly feel like you need sock puppets to explain something to a guy you're dating, it gets frustrating. An insecure man can quickly turn into an abusive one.
Many guys who aren't intelligent are also very emotionally immature, which means that they won't be able to work on their insecurities without hurting you to make themselves feel better. Keep this in mind when you're with a brainless boy toy.
If your man has all the intelligence and common sense of a head of lettuce, making sure he doesn't set fire to himself is going to be part of your role as a girlfriend. In fact, you will likely feel like his mom at times.
It's very hard to stay attracted to someone you have to play mommy to, and even harder if you need to regularly nag him just so he will function as an adult. They might be gorgeous, but people will start raising their eyebrows when your beau actually says something.
In certain circles, this can ruin your chances of making friends, networking, or even getting respect for your own work. For example, you can get fired from an exclusive wine tasting job if your boyfriend asks what a merlot is in front of your boss. On a similar note, parents might not approve of the guy you date because his lack of intelligence can ruin his ability to keep a job. Sadly, this is part of the whole package in most cases.
2. you'll know when a dumb guy tries to do a big romantic gesture.
They don't have the common sense to see how much a smart girl can offer until the girl's already moved on. For example, if they crash your car, you will be the one paying for it.
If they put tinfoil in your microwave, you're going to be the one dealing with a fire in the kitchen. It only takes one epic fail to make you want to ditch a dumb guy.
So is it worth it? A lot of dumb guys can be extremely charming, gorgeous, and great in bed. But the one thing most of them can't be is a good partner for someone who doesn't want to be a babysitter all day long. While there's definitely exceptions to every rule, it's often best to just look for an intellectual equal for long-term relationships. She writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships.
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