There I was again, paying a high price for my niceness, drowning in tears because I had been backstabbed by someone I completely trusted, by someone I had given my best to.
I was my own enemy and being too nice to people was the cause of my self-destruction. It made me fail both in love relationships and friendships. My relationships failed because I would give too much too soon.
I would go out of my way to make the other person happy. For instance, I would text my ex back as soon as my phone would light up, even though he completely ignored me for the better part of the day.
Him being there, him serving me crumbs, was enough for me back then. I would do things without even thinking about them.
I would always try more, give more and work harder, so, in the end, he and each and every one of my exes would take it for granted. They knew they could count on me and rely on me no matter what. But surprise surprise, whenever I needed them to do the same, they were never there.
Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on, I found none, whereas mine was still wet from the last time they needed it. I was there to lift them up and make them feel better about themselves and when I was down they would only help me stay down. I needed to say goodbye to some people in my life.
I needed to learn how to be nice to myself for a change. All the love, understanding, gentleness and kindness I had so selflessly given to others, I started giving to myself. All that strength and determination I had showed when it came to fighting for them, I redirected to myself. What I learned is that people treat you like you teach them to treat you.
If you allow them to treat you badly and walk all over you, they most certainly will.
1. they don’t always treat you with a basic level of respect.
Reciprocity is what it is all about; I deserve all the time, affection and attention I keep giving others. I need someone who will give all those things back to me effortlessly. Someone who will meet me halfway. My time is precious and valuable and I choose how I spend it. I will do nice things for other people but not at my own expense. Now, I only take ability for my own actions.
My life now only includes the people who are willing to give back as much as they take, people who love me because of me and not because of what I can do for them. I am still a good person but I stopped exaggerating with being nice and started seeing my own worth. Leah Lee knows exactly how to get over a guy.
Her experience as life-coach and a psychologist has taught her all the right things to do and say when it comes to trying to let go of someone and leave them in the past, but also how to behave in the meantime. Martha Sullivan. Christine Keller.
2. they don’t involve you in their life and aren’t interested in being involved in your life.
Leah Lee September 19, Share article. Martha Sullivan July 26, Christine Keller May 9, Related articles. Written by.