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Downloading a dating app is the easy part. But toughest of all? Coming up with that first perfectly witty message the minute you match with someone decent. These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible. So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites. But cheese references might.

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We analyzed overfirst contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically ificant. Online dating advice at its best.

Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs. These all make a terrible first impression.

In fact, if you count hit and we do! This makes a certain sense: people like a sense of humor, and you need to be casual to convey genuine laughter. You might think that words like gorgeousbeautifuland sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.

On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point.

But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations. There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombiebandtattooliteraturestudyingvegetarian yes!

Online dating: first message tips

Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkwardsorryapologizekindaand probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.

A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly.

Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically ificant of times.

Over online dating first message examples

Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated by phrase before presenting the data.

No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post.

How to write a great first message

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What to say online dating first message examples

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